John Lyly, the renowned English writer once said “Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on earth”; and every couple in love would agree to this during the first few months of marital bliss. However, marriages are not just about being in love and spending a wonderful time together. It is a lifelong commitment that has to be built on love, respect, trust, faithfulness, patience, selflessness and communication. A happy marriage takes time and a lot of effort to work, even if you are in love with your partner.
Life is not an easy journey. It has its ups and downs. Similarly, every marriage, however strong it is, will have its fair share of struggles and disappointments. We understand that going through a rough patch with your partner is not easy. You may feel sad, angry, hopeless and betrayed at times. Often such negative feelings will lead to resentment and indifference if not dealt with, culminating in a divorce.
What many couples struggling in their relationship fail to understand is that every problem has a solution. If you are unable to find it yourself, feel no shame in seeking help. This is where relationship coaches come in.
While every marriage is different, there are a few common techniques relationship coaches recommend. Let us find out what they are.
Understanding individual and shared goals
Sometimes, couples realize that they have different expectations from their marriage and life in general. This leads to arguments, growing contempt and separation. So, even when they sign up for relationship coaching, their individual goals may be different.
Sure, the couple may be looking for ways to stay together. However, the important thing to do here is to understand what didn’t work. Are their marriage goals drastically different? Do they have any common interests? What about their personal life goals?
Relationship coaches advice couples to openly share their hopes and dreams for life and what they expect from staying married. More often than not, such discussions help the husband and wife to realise that with some effort from both sides, their relationship can work. Getting on the same page with your partner is the first step to saving your marriage.
Commit to repairing the damage
For a marriage to be a happy one, never go to bed angry. When couples argue and fight, it can leave physical and emotional scars on one or both of them. These fights, even if it’s one-off, can lead to resentment and distance.
For a marriage to work after an ugly fight, both partners must commit to repairing the damages. Be ready to forgive and move past the issues. If you are unable to hold a peaceful conversation, your relationship coach can provide a middle ground and an unbiased perspective to help you talk freely.
Build trust
Unwarranted doubts and criticism are like rust on a marriage. It slowly corrodes the relationship away leaving two hostile and frustrated individuals.
Instead of responding negatively to your partner’s actions, learn to trust them. Trust is a two-way bridge. If your partner is willing to believe in you, respond to them by being trustworthy and faithful.
Show simple acts of love
Relationship coaches often come across people who complain that their spouse does not love them anymore, which has led to arguments and indifference.
Love should be cherished, not hidden away in the corner of your heart. Even if you love and respect your partner, failing to show them how much they mean to you can be damaging to the relationship. Human beings need to feel wanted and loved. Showing your love and care to your partner need not be a huge romantic gesture, especially if your spouse is not keen about such things.
Try helping each other around the house every day. Find ways to enjoy each other’s company. Have at least one meal together every day. Listen to your partner patiently and support them during tough times. Even a small smile, a kind touch or a whispered ‘I love you’ and make your partner feel loved every day.
When to seek help?
If you and your partner are unsure how to go forward in your marriage, or thinking of separating over lingering issues, relationship coaching is for you. By providing a safe space for you and your partner to have open conversations and undergo therapy, our certified relationship coach and NLP practitioner Roh Hafez can help you mend, heal and save your marriage. Reach out to our wellness center in Jumeirah for more information.
